There's this kid, right? She's intelligent and beautiful and nice and creative and talented and all that overrated junk. Most importantly, she says things to me like, "If you weren't my best friend, I would punch you right now."
She feeds me and gives me nice quotes. She drives me home when I miss the bus. She knows not to tell me when I look tired. When my world is speeding up, she reminds me that it's okay to take a break and eat some ice cream. She doesn't get offended when I point out when she's done something stupid that she needs to fix. I can call her with any problem, even if it's something as simple as having an off day. She can and does tell me her worst fears, even when they involve me (obscurely, of course. This isn't a parasitic relationship). In fact, we can talk about anything. She's practically flawless in every way.
Hang on. She hates my dog. And who could hate anything this cute?